I have been running away from writing this blog post. It’s embarrasing. It makes me feel horrible. It exposes me. It shows that my marriage isn’t perfect. BUT, I feel compelled to publish it anyway because Satan wants nothing more than to destroy marriages and therefore, I will use my life as a testimony to help others not fall into the same mistakes I have. With that said, don’t judge and know that I love and appreciate my husband beyond words.
Here goes nothing…
The past, whether it be good or bad, is still the past. When we spend too much time thinking about and formulating adverse realities based on events that happened in the past, it can tarnish your present and possibly influence your future. I experienced this very thing recently. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I share in hopes that someone else learns from my mistakes.
Before my husband, I was in a 2.5 year relationship. I broke up with my ex because I felt the Lord tugging at my heart about the relationship not being fruitful or part of His will. Shortly after the breakup I started dating Terrence and the rest is history! However, sometimes the enemy strategically throws memories of me and my ex into my mind. (Yeah, I’m going there…). I’m usually able to toss the thoughts out the window, but that becomes extremely difficult to do when you’re not covering yourself in prayer and staying close to God.
So what happened?
I gave in and contacted my ex. Though the conversation was harmless, my intent wasn’t; my reason for contacting him was to “tickle” myself with memories of the past. While I didn’t expect anything to come from it, I was treading on dangerous territory simply because I knew the contact wouldn’t be beneficial to my marriage. I ended up telling my husband about the conversation and soon after, I ended it all together.
Though nothing technically happened, I was reminded of some key things that need to be done CONSISTENTLY in your marriage in order to place a wall of protection around it.
- Consistent & Individual Time with God is CRUCIAL – Spending time with God on a regular basis keeps your heart open to Him and allows you to easily identify when the enemy is throwing distractions your way.
- Pray for Your Marriage – Take time to declare and pray for your marriage. Satan is always looking to destroy the union that God placed so high over society. It’s so important to God that He uses it as a metaphor several times showing the strong bond between Himself and the church. Satan hates it and is looking for EVERY opportunity to mess it up. The good thing is that we have the tools to keep him OUT and under our feet where He belongs.
- Never Be Afraid to Talk To Your Spouse – I always tell Chris, I can’t hide anything from him. He’s literally my best friend. As ashamed as I was about contacting my ex, I couldn’t keep it away from my husband. Actually, my ex encouraged me to talk to my husband (who does that?! I’m super certain that the Lord used him to send me that message). So, if you find yourself in an unfavorable situation that could potentially ruin your marriage or put a wedge between you and your spouse, TALK ABOUT IT! Expose yourself before you go deeper into darkness.
- Remind Yourself of Your Vows – Thinking about the vows your made and even looking back at old photos of your dating days, realigns your mind and heart with the purpose of your marriage.
I thank GOD that nothing happened that could jeopardize my relationship with my husband but I fully and completely realize that these types of instances happen all the time and the difference between nothing happening and something happening is literally, one wrong turn, one inappropriate text, one harmless meet-up. If I didn’t tell my husband, I could’ve talked myself into taking the conversation with my ex in an inappropriate direction.
I’m sharing this with all those who are married to ultimately remind you to ALWAYS have your guard up. Always pray for your marriage. Always consider your spouse first. Always cherish and appreciate the relationship that you’re in. Always remember that your spouse is a gift from God.
Marriages are the glue of our society and those who have the privilege of being in such a covenant, myself included, should honor it and give it over to the Lord so that He can lead you and your spouse down the right road together.
As always, I hope this post helps you in someway and if you know someone who this would positively effect, feel free to share it 🙂 Love you all!