Being a mother is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs I’ve ever encountered. Oxymoron? Not quite.
I hands down, 1000% believe that motherhood is a job that no one else can handle. Seriously, not one other person can do it, not even a father. I know it’s a tough statement to make, especially when my husband is an incredible father, but it’s true. After a full year of being a mom, I’ve come to learn that there’s no one who can take my place in my child’s life.
Expectations of a Mother
When a child needs to be changed or fed, is fussing or doing something they shouldn’t be, is going in the wrong direction, is crying, (and the list goes on and on and on) everyone turns to the mother. How do I feel about this?
Honestly, at first I loved it! I was needed on a really deep level. I truly felt that I was fulfilling my role as a nurturer. Do I love it now? I do, but this love comes with realizations that I was naive to before. As a mother, I am expected to play a grand role, which is fair (and TOTALLY ok with me!) but on the flip side, I’ve come to realize that society has much much lower expectations for a child’s father. Even down to the lack of changing tables in public restrooms for men. How unfair is that?! (PS: Here’s a really interesting article from Darrell Milton on a father’s point of view on that particular topic)
But – what does complaining do to help the situation?
Absolutely nothing. I know a lot of mothers feel this burden and while it’s unfair, there are some things that we can do for ourselves to ensure we don’t lose it when the weight of motherhood seems unbearable.
- Take a few extra minutes to yourself. When I need to, I put Nick in his playpen and I go away only for a few minutes, just to collect myself when I’m feeling stressed. PS: By “away” I mean to the bathroom or to my bedroom – nowhere too far.
- Let him cry/whine – Once he is clean, dry, and fed and I know he’s whining just because he wants attention, I let him cry it out. I don’t do this all the time, but when I do it lifts the weight just a bit and it teaches Nick that Mommy isn’t always able to hold him and coddle him, and that is ok.
- Pray – Y’all already know – Prayer. Works. Wonders!! There’s a peace that rests on you that is like no other when you pray and just allow God to give you the strength you need to keep being an awesome mommy.
- Schedule “Me Time” – A few minutes is great when it’s all you have but the IDEAL situation would be to schedule actual time away from your little one. Whether it be to get your nails done, or just sleep a little extra, scheduling “me time” is desperately important for any mother to be able to function well. You’ve got to pour into yourself to be able to pour out into your child and family.
- Talk to Other Mothers – We’re ALL going through the same thing in some capacity so open up and chat with another mom. You’ll likely find a freedom just in sharing similar experiences and you may even get some really useful advice!!
As always, I hope this information is relatable and useful for you! If you have any other tips to add to this list PLEASE share it in the comments!
I love you all! Till next time! 🙂